In No Uncertain Terms: Dealing with an Unknown Future

Reacting to Uncertainty

Uncertainty is all around us. Many people are out of work, wondering where the next paycheck will come from; some have no health insurance or inadequate coverage. Even folks with a stable job might feel the desire to change careers or face unexpected expenses. Then there is the uncertainty on a much larger scale; the economy, foreign war, the continuing pandemic, and the environment are just a few areas we might focus our attention on and feel the uncertainty of the times we live in. 

There’s some uncertainty in my life right now. I am unemployed and looking for my next job. There are more uncertainties than this, of course, but watching how I am around this one makes me think about the ways we react when in uncertainty. I’ll look at five patterns that we might find ourselves in when faced with uncertainty: hunker down, blast through, ruminate, procrastinate, and be busy. 

Hunker Down

When faced with not knowing what is coming, where we are going, or what will happen, we might feel unsafe. Hunkering down is a way we try to protect ourselves. We may narrow down our activities, not engaging as much with the world as we would if we felt more certain about ourselves and our situation. This might look like staying at home more, saying no more frequently to invitations, and restricting our activities to only those we see as necessary. Or we might experience it in the area of relationships, and find we are less interested in meeting new people and socializing, instead focusing on those we know well already. 

Blast Through

Another pattern we might find ourselves in is getting into action. When we feel uncertain, our response can be to do something, anything, in the hopes that it will relieve the discomfort of uncertainty. We throw ourselves into action, not stopping to consider whether that action is well thought out or likely to lead to relief. We are trying to blast through the uncertainty and get to the other side. For example, if we have lost our job, getting into action might look like sending out generic resumes for any position that seems possible, rather than targeting our action to those we are best qualified for and customizing our approach for each position. Spreading our action too thin or across too many different areas, instead of honing in on those actions that will give us the most return, might make us feel better in the short term but can diminish our energy overall. 

Ruminate

When in uncertainty, the areas of our life we want clarity about can begin to take up all our mental space. We might find that all of our mental focus is taken up with thinking about and trying to find a solution to our situation. I have certainly found that it is difficult to think about anything else when I am uncertain when I will find work. Even so, if we find that all our focus is on those areas in which we are experiencing the unknown, we might want to see if we can at least shift our focus for some time to something we enjoy. It can be draining to constantly ruminate on how we are going to change our situation or what we should do next. Making the time for something we enjoy doing and for taking care of ourselves is especially important when we are faced with uncertainty.

Procrastinate

If in our uncertainty we don’t know what action to take, our pattern might look something like procrastination. We do those things that are easy, that we know how to do, and that provide some focus, thus relieving our anxiety at least momentarily. Some people may clean or organize their closets or garage. I decided that it was time to clear out the (many!) messages that have accumulated in my email inbox over the last couple of years and create some kind of organization system that will keep that many from accumulating again. These types of activities can certainly be worthwhile, but we can also use them to avoid dealing with the uncertainty.

Be Busy

Similarly, we might deal with uncertainty by making sure that we don’t have any time to think about it. We might over schedule ourselves, even double booking to create a different kind of problem to think about. If we find ourselves saying yes to every request someone has of us and filling our time with things that are not a priority simply so that we do not have any time to think about our situation, this might be the pattern we are in. 

I am not suggesting that any of these patterns is necessarily or always negative. At times it is perfectly appropriate to hunker down or to get into action. The question is whether we are aware of the pattern that we are in. Once we are aware of where we automatically go, we might then be able to consciously choose how we are in that pattern as well as when to step out of it and try on another way of being. For example, our initial response to uncertainty might be to hunker down. When we realize we are doing this, we can then ask ourselves whether this is the response we want for right now. If it is, we can hunker down in a way that provides what we need. Periodically checking in with ourselves, we can then decide at some point that perhaps it is time to take some action, or even to escape from our thinking for awhile through doing something unrelated. The more we have access to different choices, the more we can consciously navigate through times of uncertainty.

You may have other patterns you fall into as you deal with the uncertainty of your life; in what ways do you react, and how would you like to respond?