Can You Calm Down? Deactivating the Stress Response in Uncertain Times

How is your nervous system? With all that has happened over the last couple of years, it feels like there’s a lot of collective and individual trauma (and remember trauma exists on a continuum), which can keep the sympathetic nervous system activated. We go into the fight-or-flight response with news of another covid variant, inflation, violence, war oversees, or the stressors of everyday life. When we aren’t able to adequately calm it down before the next activation, that stress starts to become chronic, and it feels like it’s harder to settle the nervous system down. You might start noticing that the ways you would typically be able to active the parasympathetic nervous system don’t work anymore. What can you do?

What’s in your control?

First, it’s important to acknowledge the level of stress you are experiencing, and differentiate what is in your control and what isn’t. Taking action on things you can control, while potentially minimizing things that aren’t in your control (for example, controlling the inputs into your system where possible—i.e. not being glued to the news if you don’t have to be), gives you a sense that you can do something.

What do you need?

Then, recognize that your actions to calm your nervous system may need to shift in times of greater stress. If you normally do yoga but aren’t finding that it has the same impact as it did a couple of years ago, is there something else you can add? Or is there a change in how you practice that’s needed (maybe focusing on more yin yoga or yoga nidra)? Create a toolbox of tried-and-true methods that you know work to activate your relaxation response, and maybe a list of new things that you’d like to try.

Here’s a starting point for your lists:

• Mindfulness practice

• Meditation (guided if needed, or on your own)

• Deep breathing

• Focus on a soothing word and infuse that word into you (peace, love, gratitude, calm)

• Visualize or imagine yourself in your favorite relaxing place (likely in nature—beach, mountains, etc)

• Practices like Tai Chi or Qi Gong (you can find free youtube videos to try these)

• Yoga (Yoga with Adriene is my personal favorite, but find what works for you)

• Do artwork or something physical and repetitive, like knitting or crocheting

• Exercise (at a level that’s supportive to your body to release stress)

• Take a bath

• Connect with people you love

• Bounce up and down lightly on the balls of your feet

• Shake different parts of your body (highly effective for releasing stress)

• Dance or try the 8 minute joy workout

How does your system respond?

As you try different stress-relieving activities, whether new or old, pay attention to how you feel before and after. One activity may not be enough, but if your tendency is to say “Well, that didn’t work,” reconsider. Did you feel 10% more relaxed after? Did your mood improve even by 1%? Small changes are important to acknowledge, as what you focus on will increase. One tool may not suffice right now; for example, I sleep with a weighted blanket, meditate daily, aim for a couple of exercise sessions (even short ones) and move regularly throughout my day, try to take a bath once a week, connect with people, and use the resilience and positive intelligence work I do on a daily basis. All of these support me.

How much allowance can you have?

A final strategy that is challenging, but can support your system to change, is to simply be with what is going on in your body. If you’re aware of a feeling that for you exemplifies stress or fight-flight—perhaps tension in your body, temperature changes, or being jittery—allow it to be there without trying to change it. Pay as close attention as you can to the sensation without judging it or you. Continue breathing as you focus on the sensation with allowance. It may start to change on its own or it may not, but in either case you are building your awareness and connection with your body.

If you feel like your nervous system needs a little more support, there are also modalities that might help, such as massage and energy work. For example, I do a type of energy work that can support your body and being with whatever change you’d like, including shifting how you are with stress. For a limited time I’m offering these sessions, which are available virtually (it’s energy work, it works across time/space) for a special low price! See Services to learn more about these, check book a session under energy work for the options, and always feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.